second-rate heart

There are days lately when I wish I was a news blogger, writing about current events with a concrete pseudonymous identity on a regular basis rather than a rarely-updated vague identity project that concerns maybe 0.5 people besides yours truly.

Two of those reasons have come up lately: the can of worms regarding media coverage of the Virginia Tech shooting (regarding Asian-American identity and mental health patient rights), and the thing I am going to talk about right now, news that a no-periods-ever birth control pill is likely going to be approved by the FDA soon.

Although it has not that much to do directly with the issues I'm dealing with now, that provoked the creation of this blog, the pill after all has quite a bit to do with my self-identity as a chick, and so I think it's fair game in a broad sense.

Full disclosure: I have always hated getting a period. Historically I have suffered from debilitating cramps around that time, not to mention dramatic mood instability that I can only guess is directly related to my having bipolar disorder. The only "mental health" medication that I've found to have a consistent, if small, pallative effect is extended-cycle oral contraceptives (and to a lesser extent, regular old OCs).* But I hate having to drag out these "health reasons" as if there is no legitimate reason for just hating having to deal with a period. I am never going to have kids, by choice, and I don't particularly care about fertility or motherhood. So why on earth should I be comforted by something like a visible sign of my own ability to procreate? Why should I want to put up with an unpleasant experience on a regular basis if I don't have to?

So I would say that despite my "legitimate" health reasons for choosing the no-period route as much as possible, my main reason for being on extended-cycle oral contraceptives is so I never, ever have to deal with hormone-related mood swings, and have a period as rarely as possible.

When I saw that a no-period-ever pill is coming on the market, my heart leapt up in joy. You have no idea: this is absolutely the stuff of dreams for me.**

Then I kept reading the article on it. It was packed to overflowing with quotes from women who consider their periods "natural" and "a part of being a woman," as essential to their female identity. They went on at length about how "women shouldn't prevent periods" because they personally valued theirs. Their reasoning was largely "it's natural" and "it's a reliable indicator that you're not pregnant, so reduces anxiety." I agree with them wholeheartedly that biological women often (but not always) have regular periods as part of their non-pharmaceutically-modified lives, and that periods indeed tell one she is not pregnant.

But.

Those women do not speak for this woman.

This woman could not care less about what is "natural" (given the problematic nature of the definition and use of this term in the first place - no pun intended). I do not consider my period any more a part of my essential female nature than shaving my legs. (Which, incidentally, I also choose to not to trouble myself with.) But when I think about it, there is not much about my identity - which necessarily includes my identity as a woman, given that I in fact am one - that is based in my natural, fertile potential for child-rearing, or anything related to it. It's a bothersome biological function with no more importance to me than farting. I cannot identify with women who choose to make that part of their biology a defining factor of their existence.

I realize, only too well, that we do live in a society that values women more for their child-producing than anything else. I do realize that we cannot help but to be affected by this. Trust me, I have dealt with this every time I reveal that I am not going to be a breeder. "You'll change your mind!" Sure. Once my womanly essential nature kicks in. It'll be any day now.

What frustrates me so much is the fact that this pill is a fucking godsend to women like me, and to women who for any reason don't want to put up with the bullshit that is inconvenient biological functions, and yet it is being framed as an insidious threat to women who (over)value their "essential female nature." My answer to them is not to take it. No one's forcing anyone. In fact, it will not even be that widely accessible, since one needs to have access to a doctor to prescribe it, and the cash to purchase it (since it won't be generic for a damn long time).

The article talked about a documentary being shown about the question of getting rid of one's periods. It's apparently being posed as some kind of ethical dilemma that needs to be dwelled upon at length. I am calling bullshit on this because from my perspective (a cranky one, I know, but it's all I've got) it is a personal choice, and it's only a dilemma if you somehow do not understand whether you, personally, like having a period or not. If you do, then stay the hell away from this medication!

And for fuck's sake, stop trying to speak for all women, and stop trying to eliminate choices for women that don't value their god-given natural feminine biology, and who choose to value themselves for something more meaningful.

----

* The number of mood stabilizers and anti-psychotic drugs I have gone through are legion. I neither want nor need your advice on this count.

** Yes, I realize that one can do this with regular OCs by never taking the placebos (or taking a week off), and that the packaged fewer-periods or no-periods pills are a total rip-off. Still, I have never found a doctor who will actually prescribe OCs for me in this way, so I'm stuck paying for the ones that are marketed in this way.

second-rate heart
blog archives	Saturday, April 21, 2007 There are days lately when I wish I was a news blogger, writing about current events with a concrete pseudonymous identity on a regular basis rather than a rarely-updated vague identity project that concerns maybe 0.5 people besides yours truly. Two of those reasons have come up lately: the can of worms regarding media coverage of the Virginia Tech shooting (regarding Asian-American identity and mental health patient rights), and the thing I am going to talk about right now, news that a no-periods-ever birth control pill is likely going to be approved by the FDA soon. Although it has not that much to do directly with the issues I'm dealing with now, that provoked the creation of this blog, the pill after all has quite a bit to do with my self-identity as a chick, and so I think it's fair game in a broad sense. Full disclosure: I have always hated getting a period. Historically I have suffered from debilitating cramps around that time, not to mention dramatic mood instability that I can only guess is directly related to my having bipolar disorder. The only "mental health" medication that I've found to have a consistent, if small, pallative effect is extended-cycle oral contraceptives (and to a lesser extent, regular old OCs).* But I hate having to drag out these "health reasons" as if there is no legitimate reason for just hating having to deal with a period. I am never going to have kids, by choice, and I don't particularly care about fertility or motherhood. So why on earth should I be comforted by something like a visible sign of my own ability to procreate? Why should I want to put up with an unpleasant experience on a regular basis if I don't have to? So I would say that despite my "legitimate" health reasons for choosing the no-period route as much as possible, my main reason for being on extended-cycle oral contraceptives is so I never, ever have to deal with hormone-related mood swings, and have a period as rarely as possible. When I saw that a no-period-ever pill is coming on the market, my heart leapt up in joy. You have no idea: this is absolutely the stuff of dreams for me.** Then I kept reading the article on it. It was packed to overflowing with quotes from women who consider their periods "natural" and "a part of being a woman," as essential to their female identity. They went on at length about how "women shouldn't prevent periods" because they personally valued theirs. Their reasoning was largely "it's natural" and "it's a reliable indicator that you're not pregnant, so reduces anxiety." I agree with them wholeheartedly that biological women often (but not always) have regular periods as part of their non-pharmaceutically-modified lives, and that periods indeed tell one she is not pregnant. But. Those women do not speak for this woman. This woman could not care less about what is "natural" (given the problematic nature of the definition and use of this term in the first place - no pun intended). I do not consider my period any more a part of my essential female nature than shaving my legs. (Which, incidentally, I also choose to not to trouble myself with.) But when I think about it, there is not much about my identity - which necessarily includes my identity as a woman, given that I in fact am one - that is based in my natural, fertile potential for child-rearing, or anything related to it. It's a bothersome biological function with no more importance to me than farting. I cannot identify with women who choose to make that part of their biology a defining factor of their existence. I realize, only too well, that we do live in a society that values women more for their child-producing than anything else. I do realize that we cannot help but to be affected by this. Trust me, I have dealt with this every time I reveal that I am not going to be a breeder. "You'll change your mind!" Sure. Once my womanly essential nature kicks in. It'll be any day now. What frustrates me so much is the fact that this pill is a fucking godsend to women like me, and to women who for any reason don't want to put up with the bullshit that is inconvenient biological functions, and yet it is being framed as an insidious threat to women who (over)value their "essential female nature." My answer to them is not to take it. No one's forcing anyone. In fact, it will not even be that widely accessible, since one needs to have access to a doctor to prescribe it, and the cash to purchase it (since it won't be generic for a damn long time). The article talked about a documentary being shown about the question of getting rid of one's periods. It's apparently being posed as some kind of ethical dilemma that needs to be dwelled upon at length. I am calling bullshit on this because from my perspective (a cranky one, I know, but it's all I've got) it is a personal choice, and it's only a dilemma if you somehow do not understand whether you, personally, like having a period or not. If you do, then stay the hell away from this medication! And for fuck's sake, stop trying to speak for all women, and stop trying to eliminate choices for women that don't value their god-given natural feminine biology, and who choose to value themselves for something more meaningful. ---- * The number of mood stabilizers and anti-psychotic drugs I have gone through are legion. I neither want nor need your advice on this count. ** Yes, I realize that one can do this with regular OCs by never taking the placebos (or taking a week off), and that the packaged fewer-periods or no-periods pills are a total rip-off. Still, I have never found a doctor who will actually prescribe OCs for me in this way, so I'm stuck paying for the ones that are marketed in this way. posted by m 0 comments 15:52	i am the ghost of who i used to be. contact me: leave a comment. i apologize but want to remain anonymous and posting my email address here would make me unduly anxious about my privacy.